


#IronManKidnapping

by Waid



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 616 elements, Advanced Idea Mechanics, Crack, Gen, Humour, Hydra, Kidnapping, Livetweeting, Pre-Iron Man 3, Silly, Twitter, twitfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-25
Updated: 2013-10-25
Packaged: 2017-12-30 11:49:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1018257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waid/pseuds/Waid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which A.I.M kidnap Tony. And decide to livetweet it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	#IronManKidnapping

**Author's Note:**

> This is very directly inspired by [this fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/738410) by SchemingReader which features the following exchange:
> 
> "Who took him?"
> 
> "Advanced Idea Mechanics."
> 
> "How do you know?"
> 
> "They tweeted it."
> 
> And in the comments someone said they needed the fic where AIM livetweet the kidnapping. I wrote nearly this whole thing on the spot, and that was back in MARCH. But I was in a pretending-not-to-fandom phase for various reasons, and then I lost part of it, then left it not-quite-finished on my hard drive for months. But it really ought to be posted before another slew of movies come out. Being mostly written before Iron Man 3, it features a more classic A.I.M than we saw onscreen.

  
 

 **A.I.M:** LOL WE JUST KIDNAPPED @I_AM_IRONMAN! #winning

 **BlackWidow:** @A.I.M Do you really see this ending well for you?

 **A.I.M:** YOU’LL NEVER FIND US AVENGE-DURRS!!!!!! #muahaha  #IronManKidnapping

 **A.I.M:** SOON @I_AM_IRONMAN WILL BE ONE OF US!!!!!!! #IronManKidnapping

 **BlackWidow:** @A.I.M Why are you using his Twitter handle?

 **BlackWidow:** @A.I.M Why are you _tweeting_ at your _kidnap victim_?

 **ThisLooksBad** : @BlackWidow Italics on Twitter? Woman, is there nothing you can’t do?

 **A.I.M:** @Hydra I bet your jealous haha  #IronManKidnapping.

 **HYDRA:** @A.I.M Hail Hydra. #HailHydra

 **A.I.M:** @Hydra   Why do we even follow you “Hail hydra hail hydra” that’s all you ever tweet. #pointless #unfollow

 **HYDRA:**   @A.I.M Hail Hydra. #HailHydra

 **RealPepperPotts:** @BlackWidow Oh God. Is this real?  

 **BlackWidow:** @RealPepperPotts DM’d you.  On it. Don’t worry.

 **HULKSMASH:** .@A.I.M KIDNAP METAL MAN! HULK ANGRY! RAAARGH! #IronManKidnapping

 **DoctorBruce:**  I am able to state with some confidence that the person tweeting as @HulkSmash is not, in fact, the Hulk.

 **DoctorBruce:**   The Hulk is not capable of using Twitter.

 **DoctorBruce:** For reasons including but not limited to the size of his hands.

 **DoctorBruce:** And even if he could, why would he type “raargh”?  For God’s sake.

 **RealPepperPotts:** @DoctorBruce I can probably get a C &D if it bothers you.

 **DoctorBruce:** It’s fine, it’s no big deal.

 **CapAmerica:** I would like to assure everyone following #IronManKidnapping that @TheAvengers are preparing a response.

 **CapAmerica:** Thank you for your messages of support. It means a lot to us and I’m sure it will to @I_Am_IronMan when he’s back with us. #IronManKidnapping

 **ThisLooksBad:** @CapAmerica Whoa, Greatest Generation, who taught you how to use hashtags?

 **CapAmerica:** @ThisLooksBad I think this is a great form of communication, Clint! It’s neat to be able to connect with people so directly.

 **ThisLooksBad:** I still think @CapAmerica  being on Twitter is just weird.

 **THUNDER_WARRIOR:** @A.I.M  COWARDS! YOU SHALL PAY DEARLY FOR YOUR UNDERHANDED   #IronManKidnapping

 **ThisLooksBad:** Okay, that’s weirder.

 **HYDRA:** @A.I.M Hail Hydra. #HailHydra

 **A.I.M:** @Hydra Go away

 **HYDRA** @A.I.M Hail Hydra #HailHydra

 **A.I.M** : @Hydra I will report you for abuse

 **CapAmerica:** @DoubleDenimDebbie Ma’am, I understand your concern. We have time to tweet because we’re travelling right now. #IronManKidnapping

 **CapAmerica:** @DoubleDenimDebbie I wish we could get there faster too. The sitting around’s driving me kind of crazy to tell the truth. #IronManKidnapping

 **CapAmerica:** @BroDude75 No, sir, I don’t think Tony “needs a good kidnapping” to come up with something “even more badass” than the Iron Man suit.

 **CapAmerica** : @BroDude75 No, he does not have a “kidnapping kink,” and that’s a very disrespectful way to talk about an ongoing crime. Shame on you.

 **BlackWidow:** @CapAmerica You don’t have to reply to everyone, you know.

 **ThisLooksBad:** @CapAmerica: [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ **Troll** /Internet/](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll/Internet/)

 **A.I.M:** .@I_AM_IRONMAN WILL NEVER RESIST OUR METHODS!  #IronManKidnapping

 **A.I.M:** SOON THE SECRETS OF HIS BRAIN WILL BE OURS! #IronManKidnapping

 **DoctorBruce:** @A.I.M  See, now, I’m getting pissed off.

 **THUNDER_WARRIOR:** TO BATTLE, FRIENDS! @DoctorBruce @ThisLooksBad @BlackWidow @CapAmerica #IronManKidnapping

 **CapAmerica:**  Thanks again for your messages. Most of them, anyway. We’ll update you on #IronManKidnapping when we can.

 **CNN:** Responding to the abduction of Tony Stark (“Iron Man”) the Avengers mount an assault on an apparent underwater base. Video: [cnn.it/1e6dd1](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdEx87fY04w)

 **A.I.M:** Shit.

 **A.I.M:** @TheAvengers There’s a tracker on him isn’t there?! What kind? Where is it?

 **BlackWidow:** @A.I.M In what possible world would we answer that question?

 **BlackWidow:** @A.I.M On _TWITTER_?

 **HULKSMASH:** HULK SMASH PUNY KIDNAPPERS! #IronManKidnapping

 **RealPepperPotts:** @HulkSmash Stop that. You’re tweeting from Idaho.

 **RealPepperPotts:** @HulkSmash Although... that does seem to be an accurate description of what’s happening...

 **RealPepperPotts:** @DoctorBruce Wow. Watching you/him on TV. If you get this later --thank you.

 **A.I.M:** It is not AIM policy to livetweet operations.

 **A.I.M:** The intern responsible has been dealt with. We apologise if anyone was offended by the inappropriate #IronManKidnapping tweets.

 **ThisLooksBad:** @A.I.M Sure, “the intern”, right. #IronManKidnapping

 **RealPepperPotts** : @A.I.M You’re apologising for the TWEETS? What about the ACTUAL KIDNAPPING?

 **ThisLooksBad:**  @RealPepperPotts  Wouldn’t hold your breath for an answer. @A.I.M won’t be tweeting for a while.

 **A.I.M:** @ThisLooksBad @RealPepperPotts ...OR WILL THEY?!??! [goo.gl/EmlD4O](http://goo.gl/EmlD4O)

 **A.I.M:**  WE’RE A.I.M! Our hobbies include failure, crying, getting beat up by @CapAmerica and wearing yellow buckets on our heads. JOIN US!

 **A.I.M:** @RealPepperPotts Love ya, babe.

 **RealPepperPotts:** @A.I.M ...Jesus, Tony.

 **BlackWidow:** @A.I.M Be fair. They did manage to kidnap you.

 **A.I.M:** @BlackWidow  Oh for like two seconds.

 **RealPepperPotts:** @A.I.M It would’ve been longer than that if you didn’t have such good friends.

 **RealPepperPotts:**    @A.I.M Get off the bad guys’ Twitter account and come home. And check your voicemail.

 **I_AM_IRONMAN:** Well, that was embarrassing.  OK, I’m back.  

 **I_AM_IRONMAN:** Oh cool there was a hashtag. #IronManKidnapping.

 **I_AM_IRONMAN:** Thank you, @TheAvengers, for rescuing me.

 **I_AM_IRONMAN:** And thank you, Twitter, for all the concern  & support &  stuff.

 **ThisLooksBad:** @I_AM_IRONMAN Was it @CapAmerica or @RealPepperPotts who made you tweet that?

 **BlackWidow:** @ThisLooksBad  Pepper.

 **I_AM_IRONMAN:** @Blackwidow @ThisLooksBad She did not I did it all by myself I can tie my own shoes and everything. 

 **I_AM_IRONMAN:** Aw, @CapAmerica. What are these “oh no I can’t get there fast enough” tweets.

 **I_AM_IRONMAN:** @CapAmerica. You were worried.

 **CapAmerica:** @I_AM_IRONMAN Tony, I don’t know why we would have this conversation on Twitter when I’m six feet away from you. But yes. Of course I was.

 **I_AM_IRONMAN:** @CapAmerica ...

 **RealPepperPotts:** @I_AM_IRONMAN It’s happened, you’ve reached the point of tweeting pauses.

 **I_AM_IRONMAN:** @CapAmerica Steve, we’ve talked about this; no disarming earnestness when I’m trying to be an asshole. ’Kay?

 **I_AM_IRONMAN:** Seriously, though. Lamest #IronManKidnapping ever.

 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [#CaptainTicklish](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3239471) by [jessbobess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessbobess/pseuds/jessbobess)




End file.
